OCD awareness month ❤︎

 Hello Witches, 

            Today is the day I speak words i've held close to my chest for a long time. I, like many other people like to keep my struggles to myself. But I feel within this case, if I speak out about my struggles it could help more people feel less alone. October is OCD awareness month. Within society only 16.7% of people who have OCD are diagnosed. Why? Because in most cases OCD is hard to differentiate from your own original thoughts. It affects you everyday in ways that go majorly unnoticed even by you. It feels as though it isn't a disorder. That it is just the way you are, and the way you think. This can very extremely harmful not to realize because OCD contains something called intrusive thoughts that make you believe you are a terrible person. If you have these thoughts as someone with OCD it is already hard enough to realize that its just intrusive thinking and that your disorder is implanting these thoughts then someone who is experiencing these thoughts who are completely unaware they have OCD therefore believe it is their own thinking and if they are thinking that way than it must mean they're a bad person which is certainly false. OCD intrusive thoughts are not something you want to think about, it is the disorder taking things you care about most and making you second guess them by implementing fears your mind convinces you that you may act upon, even though you don't want to and would never. OCD is almost like a voice in your head manipulating your brain to make you believe you're an insane person with horrible intentions and filling your head with fears it convinces you might come true the more you think of them.

            OCD isn't just about cleaning.

There is a popular narrative that is harming the OCD community. That narrative that OCD purely just means that people are afraid of germs, or they have a strong need to keep things neat and tidy. Is this true? Yes. That is called Contamination OCD. The most known type of OCD which also gets undermined for what it actually is. Contamination OCD is only one singular type of OCD and it in fact is not the most common form of OCD that is shown in accords to society. It is arguably the most heard of, due to misconception that it is the only thing OCD is. But it is not. OCD is many, many, many, different things that affect so many people everyday.

A few types of OCD are:

• Contamination OCD-Intense fear of germs, dirt, illness, or chemicals. Compulsions include excessive handwashing, cleaning, or avoiding perceived dirty surface

• Harm OCD-Intrusive thoughts or fears about causing harm to yourself or others, often through negligence.

• Checking OCD-Compulsions include repeatedly checking locks, stoves, or driving routes.

• Symmetrical OCD-An overwhelming need for items to be balanced, even, or arranged in a precise sequence. Distress occurs when things feel misaligned

• Intrusive thoughts OCD (Pure-O)-Distressing, unwanted mental thoughts or images about violent, sexual, or blasphemous themes that go against a person's core values. Compulsions are usually mental acts, like rumination, mental review, or seeking reassurance.

• Religious/Moral OCD-Excessive, obsessive worry about moral, ethical, or religious failures and committing sins.

• False Memory OCD-Intense doubt and mental replaying of past events, worrying you did something illegal or harmful without remembering it clearly.

• Relationship OCD-Persistent, distressing doubts about a partner's love or the suitability of a relationship

These are different types of OCD that effect so many unnoticed people every single day. Of course these aren't ALL the types but these are a few I feel are barely seen or heard of by society that should be. OCD is a very big issue and a dangerous disorder that has taken lives from those who have OCD but haven't heard of its proper description ultimately leading them to believe the way that they think Is corrupt and that they are a terrible person for having these thoughts.

My earliest memory of an OCD compulsion was when I was 7. I didn't learn about OCD's proper description until I turned 14. Ironically the start of my high school years my OCD grew worse. I began seeing a therapist to help understand my way of thinking. To help my compulsions. Sophomore year I began having panic attacks due to increased anxiety. Junior year my OCD grew more than it had before. Senior year had to have been the hardest year dealing with my OCD because it had grown larger as I started to experience different types all at once. Within my high school years I went through 3 therapists. I'm now out of therapy, but looking for a different person, hopefully a psychiatrist who specializes within OCD. I have never spoken about my OCD to anyone besides my parents. I was afraid no one would understand. Im still afraid. But I think it's important to be brave for those who are hiding like I once was. This is me telling my story, and I think it's important people hear it. 

Thank you for listening. 

-ThatWizardGirl